…but it also doesn’t necessarily mean they are.
It’s not always about the fact that we’re gay or lesbian, into bdsm, too fat or too thin, heterosexual, gender neutral, gender queer, two-spirit, transgender, a cross-dresser, a person of color, a swinger, etc., etc.
I know someone who is x. They are rude, angry, miserable and aggressive in their insistence that no one likes them because they are x. It is this person’s firm belief – their absolute 100% insistence too – that no one wants to be with them, listen to them, act on whatever they want done, not because of them as a person but, rather, because they are x.
I think that there is often a fine-line we have to walk when we cry “foul” over behavior or media coverage (or lack thereof). Sometimes we’re simply not a likable person. Sometimes our behavior makes us someone others might want to avoid. Sometimes someone doesn’t want to be with us not because we’re x, y or z but, rather, because they simply don’t like us.
Sometimes the media doesn’t cover something that is critically important to us personally in just the way we might want. It’s not always because it’s an “X” issue. Sometimes it’s just because the person covering the story isn’t really interested in it, or is a lousy journalist, or really can’t write any better than they did.
Sometimes it isn’t that a candidate doesn’t care about us or our votes. Someone running for office, any office, wants all the votes they can get. Sometimes it’s not even that they don’t care about our issues. Sometimes it’s just a lack of adequate knowledge and an opportunity for us to help them learn more about “us” (x,y or z). And sometimes it’s that the candidate, once elected, has no compunction about back-tracking on promises. Or sometimes it’s just because the reality of getting some done in a political arena is not what they thought it would be and they can’t get something done – not that they don’t want to. They just can’t.
All of that said, sometimes it is about those issues of who we are, who we love, how we have sex (or don’t have sex). and how we live our lives. And sometimes we do have to stand up and shout out about it. But sometimes I think we should step back just a drop and check our reactions and the reality of what’s going on in a given situation. And then – if necessary – step up and speak out at the top of your lungs.
Note: A version of this post was first shared in 2008. It is as relevant today as it was then.