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Sexual Expression: Bin Laden and the Rest of Us

May 16, 2011

Such shock over the cache of pornography found in Bin Laden’s hideout!


Until we stop the sex-shaming and demonization of consenting adult sexual expression, people will always be driven to hide or deny whatever it is they view as “wrong” about themselves.

We have years and years of blinking in shock when someone known for their suppression of some form of sexual expression turns out to be involved in that very same expression.

Remember that saying from your parents, “Do as I say and not as I do!”?

Perhaps we should start looking right away for the behaviors, rather than being amazed when, for example, Larry Craig, who spent his entire legislative career trying to punish homosexual behavior, is found doing a tap dance to hook up with a same sex partner in a public bathroom?

Maybe we should assume from the beginning that those whose voices are raised the loudest against sexual freedom are personally ashamed of something they’re already doing and so are hoping to make it so illegal that they’ll stop or that all opportunities for them to express some core part of themselves is removed completely?

Let’s look at some of those whose voices and actions have done damage to others who were exercising their right, as consenting adults, to sexual freedom.

1.  J. Edgar Hoover, known to be homophobic and known to be a cross-dresser, widely believed to be a self-loathing homosexual.

2.  Larry Craig, author of and advocate for legislation that restricted, punished and denied the homosexual population its fundamental human rights, arrested in a public restroom for soliciting sex with another man.

3.  Roy Cohn, who with McCarthy targeted government officials and cultural figures not only for suspected Communist sympathies, but also for alleged homosexuality, lived for decades as a closeted gay man. Cohn died of AIDS.

4.  Newt Gingrich, who led the movement to impeach President Clinton because of his infidelity, has been married three times. He left his first wife, who was recovering from cancer surgery, while having an affair with his second wife. He left his second wife because of an affair he was having with a House staffer who was 23 years his junior.  They continued their affair when Gingrich was a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in connection with his alleged affairs.It’s worth noting that Mr. Gingrich opposes same-sex marriage because of the “sanctity of marriage between one man and one woman.”  I guess he meant to add “at a time”.

Hypocrisy is pretending. It’s lying.  It’s simply failing to practice those “virtues” that you’re preaching.  It’s the pretense that you believe something is wrong while engaging in whatever it is yourself.  

There is nothing wrong with being a homosexual.  There is nothing wrong with looking at pornography.  There is nothing wrong with cross-dressing.  There isn’t anything wrong with divorce (outside of a religious context).  To restrict others because you fear you cannot restrict yourself IS hypocritical.  To restrict others and limit their human rights while claiming those same rights for yourself in secret IS hypocritical.

It’s a safe assumption that each of these people named above would have been radically different had they grown up in a society that welcomed sexual diversity.  And until we can remove the shame from consensual adult sexual expression, people will continue to try to deny their own attraction to the same behaviors they try so hard to limit.


Who else would you add to this list?

Looking at the voices raised against our fundamental human right to sexual freedom, who do you think we should look at with a more critical eye to see just what sexual expression about themselves they might be hiding or maybe just trying to restrict to avoid temptation?

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